Hari’s wedding - Friday 24 June 2005

After all the build-up, it happened yesterday, and it happened beautifully.

Hari and Doug at the Portsmouth Registry Office - Hari looking stunningly beautiful, both of them very happy, both of them got their lines absolutely correct.

Erica and I set off for Portsmouth at 07.20. The first port of call was Jim Melia’s (Doug’s granddad) house in Cosham, where Hari and Penny had stayed overnight. Yvonne & Pauline (Helen’s sisters) were bustling around making preparations for the reception after the Baha’i ceremony. Pauline had done the catering and produced some excellent cold food. Jim had set out the front room with chairs for 30 people for the Baha’i ceremony. Alan (Pauline’s husband) was there.

Hari looked (cliché, cliché) stunning and radiant. Her dress, dark red with a sheen on the surface, suited her well and she had had her hair done that morning by Helen’s hairdresser.

Into the car and off to the registry office. We were a tad early (before the 10am wedding) and waited in the garden to the side of the registry office, just below the embankment of the busy railway line to Portsmouth Harbour - trains seemed to be going back and fore every two or three minutes. Richard (Yvonne’s husband took pictures - he was the official photographer for the day) - as did we all - and the guests began to arrive, including Hari’s housemates.

The registry office ceremony went without a hitch. The registrar was patient and friendly (I think this has to be a qualification for being a registrar - all those I’ve had dealings with, particularly for weddings, have been like this). Apart from finding Har’s name difficult to pronounce, everyone got their lines right.

Back out to the garden for more photos. But there was a black cloud approaching from the west and we began to hear thunder. Photos got done and the rain didn’t begin until we’d finished.

Returned to Jim’s house in the rain, but it was a shower only. We all squeezed into the front room and waited for Neville Hill, Chairman of the Portsmouth Assembly, to arrive. He’d been at the registry office, where he’d arrived on his bike. We had visions of him puffing up to Cosham on the bike, but it turned out he’d returned home to get his car. He’d been told that the Baha’i ceremony would be at noon, but we were all sitting waiting just after half-past-eleven. It was so hot, that we eventually decided to go ahead without Neville and we’d finished by noon, when Neville arrived and was (understandably) somewhat miffed that we’d gone ahead without him. We offered to do the vows again, but he accepted our assurance that all had been done properly.

I said a little about the Faith and introduced the ceremony. The programme was deliberately short and low-key, out of respect for Doug and his family, but a number of people afterwards told Erica and me that they’d found it very dignified and appropriate. Alex and Vicky read ‘Abdu’l-Baha’s ‘marriage tablet’ verse and verse about. Penny Skinner (maid of honour/bride’s tart) and Rob Weights both read passages from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Baha, and Erica read the closing prayer. Hari and Doug said their vows flawlessly.

After lunch, speeches in the garden. Father of the Bride a bit lame. Doug and Nick (Doug’s best man) both gave excellent speeches.

Erica, her dad and I returned to Winchester in torrential rain to let the dog out and get into our pirate costumes for the party in the evening. Lots of lightning and thunder as we drove along the M27 - traffic very slow. One lightning bolt hit the ground just on the other side of the hedge from the motorway and a loud bang followed almost instantaneously, making us all jump.

Erica had been worrying for some time that she hadn’t had any confirmation from the venue manager that all was OK for the evening, but in the end it all turned out well. Derek phoned the dockyard manager and was able to contact the venue manager immediately to confirm that the security arrangements were OK. (All guests had to be on a list to be checked by the security man at the dockyard gate.)

A pirate party in Boathouse No. 7 in Portsmouth’s Historic Dockyard was a good idea. Hari and Doug were able to invite all the people they could fit in for the wedding itself, and it was something very different from the average after-wedding party. Everyone who came had made an effort to dress appropriately, and there were some quite splendid costumes - and, indeed, some faces that would have looked well in the 18th century - Doug himself was wonderfully accoutred and has the face for a pirate costume. Doug’s and Hari’s university and other friends came, some of Hari’s Baha’i friends (Kay Hughes, Susie Batchelor, Simon and Claire Batchelor, Stephen, Elizabeth and Matthew Jenkerson. Sedhrat Momen and his girl turned up at about 11pm.) Rob, Rachael and Jojo came, as did Ben and Rowena.

The venue was excellent. The kids’ play area kept kids, young and not so young, well amused for hours. Nobody wanted to dance, even after Doug and Hari had done the obligatory twirl and smooch. Mostly people wanted to talk. There was a gruesome ‘laughing sailor’ fairground amusement at one end of the boathouse, at which groups of people would gather round from time to time. It freaked Alex out.

Outside, crowds of sailors from foreign navies, come to Portsmouth to celebrate the 200th anniversary of Nelson’s defeat of the Spanish and French navies at Trafalgar, wandered around. Some looked in and thought they’d like to join the party. Some groups of Japanese officers did come in - and some of our guests (Erica and I paid for this party) did their best to entice some of them in to get them drunk. Some of the party (including best man Nick) were accosted by American and other sailors outside and asked if they worked here - to the Americans at least it would seem natural that a historic dockyard would have actors wandering around dressed in period clothes - and would they have their photos taken.

By midnight, Erica was so tired that I just had to take her home. David had returned home earlier with Rob and Rachael. Tom & Vicky, who were staying with David had also gone back to Winchester. Alex, Charlie, Ethan (who’d been very well behaved indeed all day) and Mieko had gone back to Abingdon (Alex & co had stayed with us on Thursday night and stayed again on Friday night). Erica and I called in to Hyde Close at about 1am to fetch the dog, who’d spent the day there. David, Tom and Vicky were all up still.

Erica and I got home about 2am.